I wish this were an April Fools joke. But it’s not.

Tori Spelling is one of those Hollywood people who resort to reality TV to maintain some semblance of fame. She claims to love animals. She says that she wants to bring the farm life to Hollywood. She has four hens in an outdoor coop and this Silkie is her house chicken. Silkies are sweet, placid, docile birds. I’m sure that this little hen doesn’t complain. But, I’m also sure that the chicken’s needs are not being met. Just like toy dogs that are used as fashion accessories and are babied in ways that are truly abusive, I’ve no doubt that this chicken isn’t getting the basics. Most important for chickens is to be in a stable flock of hens. This Silkie is kept apart. Also necessary is to have dust baths and be able to scratch in the ground. This hen is kept on hard floors. Chickens need to roost. This bird sleeps on a dog bed.

The photo was taken of Tori as she carried her chicken to an event at her boutique. It was staged for the paparazzi. Tori’s publicists were successful. The photo made it onto the nightly news and in People. I hope Tori had food and water waiting in the store for the hen. Silkies overheat easily. I know that Tori isn’t thinking of her animals because she also has a pet Nigerian Dwarf Goat. Just one. Goats should always have another goat companion. Tori’s goat is also kept as a house pet. Although he is (supposedly) trained to “pee-pee” outside, he leaves goat berries everywhere in the house. Tori Spelling has a toddler. Children should not be living with animal feces in the home.

I wish this were a Hollywood phenomena, but in the April-May issue of Mary Janes Farm, “The Everyday Organic Lifestyle Magazine” is an article about how to keep chickens as house-pets. They recommend that the hens wear diapers, which I am adamantly opposed to. Chickens should not have cloth surrounding half of their body. They should not have their nitrogenous poo held close to their bottoms. The magazine does say that the diaper has to be cleaned every 2 to 3 hours. Really? You’re going to be home, doing that? In the article was also a photo of two large hens living in a baby crib. Chickens should have a minimum of four square feet per hen. This was nowhere near adequate or appropriate. Nor was there bedding to scratch in, nor a nesting box, nor a dust bathing area. I was alerted to this by my friend, Trish Riker, in Michigan. Trish knows animals. She has sheep and chickens, and is a 4-H leader. Trish wrote a letter to Mary Janes Farm. I couldn’t say it better myself, and so, with permission, I am quoting her here:

Dear Mary Jane’s Farm,

I was initially excited to see that the April-May 2011 issue had an article on pet chickens. I was shocked however to see the piece on “house-pet hens”. It is true that chickens are the oldest domesticated animals and do make great pets, but I am 100% sure that their history does not include baby cribs, diapers and toenail polish. I found this article offensive and bordering on abuse. Chickens are meant to scratch in the dirt, poop freely and have other chicken friends as they are flock animals. Too many people confuse babying with love. I love my chickens, therefore I allow them to be chickens, not my spoiled children fulfilling some empty need.

In closing I think this article offends the real farm girls and if this kind of work continues to show up in your magazine I will not be renewing my subscription.

Thank you,Trish, for speaking up.

A cosmic April Fools joke?

This morning’s view from my office.

Is it springtime yet?

Here’s cause for optimism.

You know what this means – it’ll soon be time for the Easter Bunny to come hopping along with her basket of eggs.

I have a secret. Candy is the Easter Bunny. Here’s proof.

This is a spy shot taken inside Easter Bunny Headquarters. I don’t know where she’s hiding the chocolate.

Some of you have a already have a brooder filled with peeping, fluffy chicks, but I have to wait until the end of April for my dose of extreme cuteness. I had planned on getting the chicks this week, but the breeds I want aren’t available until the end of April. As it turns out, it’s a good thing that the chicks aren’t here. Temperatures remain well below freezing at night and barely above during the day. I’d planned on putting the brooder in the big barn. With this cold spell, there’s no way, even with a heat lamp, that I’d be able to keep a constant temperature out there for them. When chicks crowd under a lamp, the ones on the edges of the group become chilled and the ones in the center overheat. They can’t space themselves out and so pecking happens. Also, this year, I’m going to try to put a few chicks under a broody hen. It’s just too cold to do that now.

I could have changed plans, and kept the chicks in the basement, but 15 chicks grow really fast. A small cardboard box is fine for the first week, but then you start scrambling for bigger and bigger containers. Also, as they lose their down and grow real feathers they generate a surprising quantity of dust. And manure. I really want the chicks outside. Besides, this year, we’re going to have a ChickCam! And that requires the wiring that we have in the barn. (Many of you have asked about our cam set-up. It’s complicated and expensive and is detailed in this FAQ.)

In preparation for the chicks, I’ve cleaned out the Big Barn of the old bedding. I’ve used the shop vac to get all the dust and cobwebs out of the crevices and the rafters. I’ve put the roosts outside so that the sun will disinfect them. As soon as the ground thaws, Steve will turn over the dirt in the pen and I’ll plant grass. Dust and earth harbors diseases and although I can’t eliminate them, the cleaning will reduce the load.

I placed my chick order deep in the middle of this snow-bound winter. Even after years of having chickens and knowing what I like, it was still a hard choice! To make the decision easier, I ordered more than I want to keep, thinking that I could sell a few started pullets when they are about two months old. (Check back with me in June and see if I can bear to part with any.) I often get asked what is the best breed to start with. That’s like asking “what dog should I get?” It’s a decision that differs for each individual and situation. This is what I’ve ordered:

2 Blue Cochins – I’m not one for feather-legged fowl because they get muddy in the spring, but cochins are so pretty and fluffy and gentle and I’ve been lusting after blue hens for awhile. All of the other hens I’ve ordered are clean-legged (no feathers) and winter hardy.

2 Delawares – these are very pretty, hardy, docile and good layers, and a breed I haven’t kept before.

2 Welsummers – they lay dark brown eggs and I like their classic big brown hen look – like out of an old picture book.

2 New Hampshire Reds – I miss Marge and Petunia and am hoping that these girls will have their out-going, friendly dispositions.

2 Rhode Island Reds – Always a good choice, the RIRs are good-layers, good foragers, and all-around nice birds.

2 Buff Orpingtons – Buffy is a HenCam favorite. She’s sweet but no push-over. And gorgeous! She’s old and I can’t imagine my backyard without a Buff O, so I’m getting these to be in the wings.

2 Speckled Sussex – Lulu is my crazy lady. These are beautiful, busy hens that surprise. I’m hoping the new ones will be a tad saner in a pair. But not too sane. That’s the fun of them.

I realize writing this that I did not order any blue egg layers. A terrible oversight! I think I’d better call Meyer right now and order a pair.

Me.

I’ve been discouraged lately. Over the last two years my agent has tried to sell several of my books to publishers. We’ve come close. I’ve had call-backs and done revisions, only to finally have my writing rejected. So, hearing from so many of you that what I do brings you joy, information, and inspiration has given me that much needed pat on the back and the encouragement to keep doing what I do.

The winner of the table runner is Bonnie Jo, who, it turns out, has a wonderful blog of her own that I’ve followed for quite some time – I’m Gonna Tell Mom! It’s worth taking a peek just to see her hens in sweaters. (A joke! She doesn’t really dress her chickens. Though there is that photo right on her web page…) So, Bonnie, please email me with your snail mail address and I’ll get the package out.

For the rest of you, I feel another bout of spring cleaning coming on. Now that I know what to do with the extra chicken things I promise another contest soon!